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Now that the fringe Olympic Hockey games are over with, it's time for The Royal Half to sit down and watch 2 Hockey Superpowers battle it out in their quest for Olympic gold. So, since the US and Russia may not play until the elimination rounds… I'll have to settle for watching US vs Canada today.
Border War, NBC? I mean, we've had our disagreements over NAFTA...
but I'd hardly call it a "Border War."
Now we all know that secretly The Royal Half is rooting for Slovakia to take home the gold… solely for the reason that the Slovakian Olympic Hockey team is the greatest collection of Los Angeles Kings All-Stars since the 1981 NHL All Star Team. (That's right... Palffy, Demitra, Handzus, Visnovsky, Stumpel and I'm pretty sure Nagy is an alternate!) But let's be real here. I'm an American. I was alive when the Miracle on Ice happened... but I might be more familiar with the Ray LeBlanc led team of 1992. So I'm rooting for Team USA. And since the coverage of this Winter Olympics by NBC has been some of the most technologically advanced of all time… I can't wait to watch today's game in glorious High Definition. Oh wait... what's that Directv? You carry CNBC in HD but not MSNBC? Is that because the financial graphics are more intense on CNBC? Well, even though the game wasn't in HD, check out "The Royal Half's Olympic Cavalcade of Screengrabs"... after the jump!
I find it interesting that NBC has been bouncing their hockey coverage all over the map... yet tonight, they find the time to have a 45 minute pre-game show. And I'm even more surprised when I see that Phil Kessel is a professional hockey player.
It's as if one of my college roommates made the NHL.
And there's been a lot of talk about the duels between former NHL mouthpiece Jeremy Roenick and former NHL GM (?) Mike Milbury. But things have gotten so bad, that it has escalated to a Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding Olympic level with Roenick hiring a man to take Milbury out in a way that Nystrom never could.
Always keep your head up, Mike.
And since NBC was covering this big match-up in the States, the focus was mainly on the young American team... featuring 3 of it's brightest stars.
I'm not sure if it's possible for Patrick Kane to look more bored here.
Don't worry, Kane... Kings fans feel the same way when Jack Johnson speaks.
And since the game was presented with limited commercial interruption, NBC made sure they got plenty of ads in before the game started.
I guess asking Jose Theodore would have been too obvious?
I hope that someday British Columbia will be able to use Canadian-born
hockey players to convince people to come to Canada on vacation.
Oh, I'm sorry... I've just been told this is Iggy Pop.
And the ad that really stood out to me was for a company synonymous with Olympic hockey... Turbo Tax!
This could be quite possibly be the most ill-conceived hockey-related advertisement since eHarmony tried to break into the goalie demographic.
And since this game was the hottest ticket in town, there was no shortage of celebrities at the Hockey Place in Vancouver. There was 9-Time Stanley Cup Winner, Scotty Bowman...
"You know, Shanny... I'm getting a little sick and tired hearing about
how much better the Wings are with Babcock."
NHL great and former Team Canada GM in 2006, Wayne Gretzky, was also in the crowd...
"I'm so glad I'm not dealing with this shit this year."
And NHL commissioner Gary Bettman was even at the game, showing his support for Team Canada...
"Hey Rene! Can you believe I almost destroyed this game in 1994?
Oh man, what a tenure, huh?"
Emperor Palpatine was also in attendance.
What a total coincidence! Did you guys know that brand new
episodes of The Office return March 4th? Only on NBC!
This is almost as bad as when Ally McBeal was behind home plate during the World Series on Fox.
Now since this is the first Winter Olympics to truly be televised in the HD era... I couldn't wait to see what amazing graphics NBC had in store for us hockey fans. Since NBC does a pretty good job with NFL Football... I'm sure there is no way we'd be disappointed!
Icevision, huh? Looking pretty good so far, NBC.
Okay, not so sure what's going on there.
I don't care how hard you try NBC, America will never understand fore-checking.
Interesting.
These previous 3 were less on-screen graphics... and more ads for NBC's upcoming remake of Tic-Tac-Dough.
Oh... okay, this golden ring is kinda cool.
No idea what is going on here.
These previous 2 are in competition for 2010's "Best In Telestrator Dong."
These are called "bluelines."
And before we head into game action... did anyone else notice that Bill Patrick was being a little "hands-y" with Jeremy Roenick all night?
"Get your goddamn hand off me, Bill."
Alright, enough of the pre-game... it's time for the marquee event!
If you are going to paint your face, make sure you don't just look like a scary clown.
Eddie Olczyk was an Olympian?
Wow, they couldn't have brought the pros in soon enough.
I know I've only been watching the previous games at work online, but I was pretty sure that Team Canada had gone with Marty Brodeur in net for the squad and not Marty Turco.
Iginla: "Gosh, could you imagine playing on a team where
the goalie makes boneheads moves like that each night?"
Morrow: "Sigh."
"I play for the team on the front, not on the knob."
"Okay, just had to double check... yes playing for Canada. Okay."
Is it just me or is Brian Rafalski the least threatening player in pro hockey?
He looks like a skinny Phil Housley.
And hey, Joe Micheletti, this is the Olympics. Maybe dress like you've been there before?
The action in this game was so fast-paced, Jack Johnson could barely keep his eyes open.
A lot of Kings fans feel like he plays with them closed too.
"Listen Drew, I wanted to come to the Kings in the offseason.
But Lombardi just wouldn't give up Teddy Purcell."
"Finally! Dad will now have to realize I'm the best brother! Suck it, Jordan!"
As a Kings fan, I'm loving that Drew Doughty has turned into the Marc-Andre Bergeron of Team Canada.
Maybe if Team Canada hit Team USA as much as they hit the blimp, they would have won this game.
And I don't care if you are the American hockey savior...
Ryan Miller is one ugly SOB.
And if there was one screengrab to sum up Team USA's emotional victory over Hockey Superpower Canada... it'd be this...
"Fuck."
You may have seen it on Twitter earlier... but there is no truth to the rumor that Belarus is ready to make an offer to Mike Babcock if he is fired by Canada tomorrow morning. Congrats to Team USA on a great win... and next... let's do it when it counts!
 Chris Kontos covers the Los Angeles Kings at The Royal Half in addition to his work on Bloguin's Olympic Hockey Blog.
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